nothing
room was small and dirty
NOISY:
1. Walls are so thin that you are kept awake with the sounds of people copulating, arguing, and "negotiating" with their hired companions.
2. the staff wheels their carts up and down the halls frequently throughout the night for some inexplicable reason. And it sounds like Santa's sleigh, because they incomprehensibly decided to bells (or maybe a tray of glasses?) on the cart.
3. Rats or some similar sort of critter crawling through the low ceilings and thin walls. With the lights off, it seems like they are inches from your face (probably just the harmonics of the sheetrock & room shape amplifying the scurrying, but still disconcerting)
4. aircon loud as a jet engine: when on, the room is FREEZING and the bed has only a sheet (no blanket). When off, the room is sweltering like a jungle (hotter than it actually is outside).
GROSS:
1. bed "mattress" was a foam mat wrapped in black vinyl leather. It was cracked and peeling like an old fraternity basement sofa & looked like it had seen about as many parties--covered in stains of various sorts, including one face-sized blood-collored stain at the center (no joke or hyperbole)
2. the sheets weren't quite big enough to cover the "mattress", and the vinyl texture kept it sliding off all night, so you are guaranteed to wake up numerous times sweating with your clammy flesh adhered to the sticky body-fluid splotches of previous guests and their "guests"
STINGY:
1. World's worst hotel breakfast. Gross and flavourless, I gave it two chances and then didn't go back. Everything was sort of moist and semi-sweet like you would imagine a pre-made mylar bag titled, "Chinese meat dish" in an army-ration or airplane meal to taste. (I love Filipino food. This is not)
2. No housekeeping service & they actively try to dissuade you when you request replacement sheets or towels to change them yourself--two of them come to the room & they stand at the door authoritatively with the service stack in hand.
STAFF: "one is enough, right" (handing you one sheet from the stack)
YOU: "Um, no. I'd really like a full set"
STAFF: "Are you sure? Maybe you just need one."
YOU: "No really. I would like a complete set."
STAFF: "Really?" (standing awkwardly hoping to pressure you to change your mind)
YOU: "Give it to me please."
STAFF: (hands you the second sheet, deliberately removing the pillowcases)
YOU: "And the pillowcases too. THE COMPLETE SET"
STAFF: (hands you the pillowcases, deliberately separating them from the towels)
YOU: "And the towels too. THE COMPLETE SET!"
STAFF: "Ase you sure you need that?"
YOU: "THE COMPLETE SET!"
STAFF: (finally hands you the towels begrudgingly but grabs the soap off the pile as you take it from them)
YOU: "And the soap too. I've been here three days, and it cost me $40 per day. The bed is filthy and infected, I shouldn't have to ASK for a replacement soap!"
STAFF: (hands it over & they turn and walk away with a scowl)
